dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
