Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
