Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
