awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
