He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
