I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
