I showed him my bush... on skype.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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