Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
