Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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