she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
