Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
