You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
