one might say we're banned from that church
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
