he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
