Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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