you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
