he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
