She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize