Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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