i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
