all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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