I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
