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Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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