I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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