I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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