We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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