I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I understand Curling. That high.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
