shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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