So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
