you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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