my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I could make wine with my vomit
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
