You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
