We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I touched a dick in church today
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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