She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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