Where is the hickey?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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