Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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