Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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