Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
