Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
