Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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