Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
