Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize