He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize