i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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