Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
