he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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