they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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