ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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