Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
