Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
