i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
