did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
