I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
