If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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