Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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