You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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