Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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