you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
