This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
