also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize