Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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